Trust and Distrust
Trust is the beginning of every good marriage, but when trust is not there anymore, it takes the grace of God for trust to exist again in that relationship. A spouse can forgive, but that painful experience will make it difficult for the offended spouse to let go for fear that it could happen again. For some, it is easier to forgive than to forget. Trusting and getting hurt is bad enough, so, taking chances for the occurrence is not an option? Putting up barriers of protection is not uncommon for a wounded spouse.
Distrust is very common between spouses especially when one has cheated and this situation might weaken a marriage that needs trust to grow. Distrust is like putting on a guard if in any way there is cheating or occurrence of it again. It is a means of protection. On the other hand, it is certainly not impossible to trust again, but it takes some effort and determination for it usually does not happen easily or quickly in any way.
A victim once said after reconciliation with her husband, that she realized what infidelity can cause to a family life and she compared it to a starving dog snatching a beautiful wedding cake. Getting the trust back was like looking for a piece of needle in a haystack but the truth is that the remaining cake was still beautiful, but the unforgettable part is that anytime you look at the remaining cake you kind of miss the complete cake before the dog got into it and that makes you bitter, sad and angry. the question is, how could a loving spouse take such beauty away from a loved one he promised to cherish? that kind of pain is often indescribable and a lot will surely be affected including Life itself.
Marriage is not the only institution that has cheating issues . Many Cheaters victimize their relationships with children, loving friends, other close family members, and even themselves. The bad part about this is that it may affect cheaters’ families because of the pain, embarrassment, and awareness of community gossip it will cause. most times such scandal can lower the value or importance of a family within a community. The whole families may suffer because of it. A good friend does not want to witness her best friend’s husband in a compromising situation with another women. A member of the family does not want to hear gossip about their loved one from other people in the community. the Young people contemplating marriage one day might lose faith and respect in the marriage institution due to this infidelity crisis in the society, and celebrity gossip on the media is not helping either. All of these life experiences are painful for many family members and others to bear when it comes to issues of cheating and infidelity.
The unfortunate thing is that cheating and crisis at home always have very bad or negative effects on the children because it gets them confused and they end up being the most wounded victims. A lot of children suffer silently and some could blame themselves and the bad part is that this parent problem could spill over into the rest of their lives thereby causing various dysfunctions in their own personal families. The best thing to do if situations like this arise is to go for counseling but many families do not look at it that way because many families do not see the need to get it.
Beyond Boundaries: Learning to Trust Again in Relationships
Cheating is never a good thing both in a marriage or any relationship, and making irrelevant and unnecessary excuses are not acceptable either and as we all know the consequences are always devastating for all parties involved, especially the children and the offended spouse.“Sometime the effects of cheating on the victims involved could be devastating especially, if they end up living that relationship for another and it could be a problem if the parties involved are not fully healed, so the best we can do to avoid any kind of trauma in our lives is being sincere and honest with our friends, spouse and acquaintances.